A fool and his money are soon elected.
Will Rogers
Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.
Leonardo da Vinci
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
Bernard Baruch
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge.
George Herbert
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
Ronald Reagan
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Back of every mistaken venture and defeat is the laughter of wisdom, if you listen.
Carl Sandburg
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.
